Now that the confetti and party favors are nestled in the holiday storage box, it’s time to reflect on the year that was, and muse on the endless possibilities for the year that is 2019!
Every year, countless individuals aspire to commence the new year with grandiose goals that fail to nurture their souls. If you want to realize your best year yet, you’ll need to assess those unappealing behaviors and malignant relationships that have kept you bound to years past.
With that said, here’s our list of the Top 5 Things to Let Go in the New Year (in no particular order):
Whether you’re 27 years old or 57 years old, you’ve probably encountered someone who was less than considerate toward you. Perhaps a close friend tried to engage you with banter that triggered a somber memory. Or, maybe your spouse failed to remember your anniversary. Whatever the offense, it’s neither here nor there. When we hold grudges toward those who’ve intentionally or unintentionally hurt us, we allow the offense to flourish, keeping us tied to the past. As we recalibrate our mindset for the new year, it’s time to let go of all grudges that we’ve held from 2018 (and previous years). So, pick up the phone and schedule a coffee date with the person who has offended you. In doing so, you’re not only releasing negative energy from that person, you’re also releasing it from yourself so that you can walk in God’s light. If calling and/or meeting with the person isn’t feasible, you can still forgive that person (and yourself) during your prayer time.
How does it make you feel to witness your sibling receiving more attention than you? Are you genuinely happy for your best friend’s engagement? And, what about your close friend’s six-figure business deal? If you feel anything other than positive emotions toward your sibling or friends, you may be experiencing jealousy and/or envy instead. Additionally, do you know the difference between jealousy and envy? Jealousy occurs when something we already possess is threatened by a third person. Envy is a reaction to lacking something that someone else possesses. A feeling of jealousy and/or envy can arise when we compare ourselves to others, or desire to possess what others have. While these feelings are natural, it behooves us not to entertain them for extended durations. Otherwise, we subsequently become bitter toward others. Remember that God’s plan is to prosper us, not to harm us (Jeremiah 29:11). And, someone else’s blessing does not negate yours! Stay focused on the wonderful qualities that you have to offer and how you can leverage those gifts to realize the greatest impact in your own life, as well as the lives of others. Will you commit to these things to let go in the new year? May 2019 be the year that you release jealousy and envy from your spirit so that you can experience genuine joy and happiness when God blesses someone else.
Easier said than done, perfectionism is a trait that we must let go in the new year. This characteristic is often cultivated during childhood. To this end, the young child who has to maintain straight A’s in every subject, score goals at every soccer game, and appear perfectly well-dressed at every event will enter adulthood with the same penchant for perfection. For those who struggle with perfectionism, life can feel like an endless theatrical performance, and you’re the star! While it’s praised to showcase your best offerings in all that you do, discerning when to not be hypercritical of yourself will help to alleviate unnecessary stressors in your life. In an effort to overcome perfectionism, you must disrupt the “all-or-nothing” mindset. Oftentimes, perfectionists entertain this unrealistic dichotomy of “black-or-white” thinking that fails to accommodate other possibilities. For example, if you haven’t launched your website because you cannot find the perfect blue background, business opportunities may continue to overlook you, for lack of having a website. Things to let go in the new year include perfectionism (and an absolute, “black-or-white” mindset). Afford yourself opportunities to be imperfect and forgo lamenting on unrealistic goals, while still loving the person within.
Interestingly, procrastination and perfectionism pair well together. If you’ve ever delayed starting a project, the underlying reason probably stems from perfectionism. Since most perfectionists have a chronic fear of failing at everything, they don’t start anything until the last minute. One can only imagine how this perpetual cycle of procrastination exacerbates anxiety so that projects are never completed properly. Are you ready to finally rid yourself of procrastination? To overcome irresoluteness, you’ll need to divide your project into micro projects so said project doesn’t seem as overwhelming. Once you’ve completed one portion of the project, praise your accomplishment with positive self-talk. Then, proceed to the next portion of the project until the entire project is complete. Additionally, allow yourself to make mistakes along the way so that your best work can rise to the top. In other words, sometimes it takes five iterations before the final masterpiece is crafted. In 2019, make this the year that you retire the phrase: “I’ll stop procrastinating tomorrow.”
- Toxic Relationships
Are you currently in a relationship that leaves you feeling mentally, spiritually, and emotionally drained after every encounter? Do your friends exhibit continuous disrespect toward you and your boundaries? If you answered yes to these questions, you’re probably in a toxic relationship. While feeling drained and disrespected are just a few of the signs that you’re in a less than desirable relationship, the Holy Spirit has probably revealed other signs to you as well. Of course, no relationship is designed to be perfect. However, it behooves you to know the signs of a toxic relationship and devise a plan to remove toxic people from your life in 2019. Ending a relationship is never without complications. But, if your mental, spiritual, and emotional health is compromised due to a toxic relationship, you must practice self-love and say goodbye to that relationship! It’s time that you assess your friendship circle. In this new year, surround yourself with people who support you and leave you feeling energized and loved.
To succeed you must overcome grudges, jealousy/envy, perfectionism, procrastination, and toxic relationships. These are the things that hinder you from fulfilling God’s promise. So, here’s to getting out of your way and opening your heart to everything He wants to do for you in 2019!